Friends,
For those of you who have not heard the news...it is official that we lost Baby Girl. This news became final as of today, which is why I waited a bit to post anything. After one of the longest weeks/weekends of our lives we talked to our social worker last Monday and settled on a plan. We reactivated our profile, in an attempt to possibly be shown to other birth parents, with the understanding that we were still "on hold" for this specific opportunity until today. The agency shared with us that they like for adoptive families to remain available for a week past the due date in case the birthmom comes back into communication. Sadly, ours did not :( We have asked the agency to let us know if they ever find out what happened, but we don't really anticipate ever having a clear answer. There is really nothing else to describe the whole situation than to say it is all very strange and we will probably never fully understand what happened. We spent the better part of last weekend crying and losing ourselves in movies. This past week was easier than the week before. We were no longer waiting through every minute of each day and felt good about the decision to reactivate and move on. I think we are moving through some of the natural stages of grief and maybe at some point I will be able to process my thoughts to put together a post on what that looked like for us. For now, we are so so so sad to have lost Baby Girl but we are excitedly praying for the next baby and birth parents that God will bring our way. We are so thankful for the love and support of all of you through this hard time and hope we have better news to share soon.
As always, thank you for joining us on this crazy journey and praying for each step of the way!
Monday, April 6, 2015
Friday, March 27, 2015
Another quick update
In an effort to keep you all updated, I want to write today and let you all know that there is still no news to report. Miss L's phone still appears to be turned off and no one has spoken to her since last Tuesday. The social worker was able to talk to her mom yesterday who simply said she would deliver the message that we are trying to reach her.
We have felt like our social worker's are gently trying to prepare us for the fact that this Baby Girl might not be meant to be ours. It is a fine balance as we try to prepare our hearts for that, yet continue to hold out hope that Miss L will choose adoption for this sweet baby.
We continue to hear of more and more people praying for this journey and couldn't be more grateful! More than anything else, we continue to hold onto our HOPE found in Christ...He is the only thing we can be sure of in this crazy world! Our biggest prayer requests at this point are:
-for the baby. Please pray for her health and safety and sweet little soul as she enters a BIG world!
-for Miss L. Pray for her heart, for her delivery, and for her to feel support as she makes the next steps in her journey.
-for us. While we continue to cling to the fact that God is in control, we are sad.
THANK YOU for praying friends!!!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
No news
No news, is not always good news. There is nothing new to report after today. Miss L is still unable to be reached. It has been confirmed by the hospital that she has not given birth as of yet. We believe that the next time we hear anything will be when/if she chooses to contact us when she goes into labor. So, we keep waiting and keep praying and keep believing that the Lord has a very specific plan in mind for this baby girl.
Monday, March 23, 2015
A Quick Update...
You guys are amazing! The love we felt from all of you after the last post was overwhelming!
Early this morning, I was all prepped and ready for my biopsy when the doctor came in and said he saw nothing he could really see being worth biopsying! He said the cysts and the nodule that he saw in my thyroid are all benign and there was no need to do the biopsy...YAY! I will follow up with another doctor to address the enlarged thyroid, but nothing SCARY for now! Praise the Lord!
In the meantime, no one has been able to get in touch with Miss L today. We continue to pray that she is safe, healthy, and taking care of herself and the baby. While we feel confident that our social workers are doing everything they can to make contact and take care of her, our emotions are starting to take over (well, at least mine are!). In the words of one of the social workers this morning...I think we are all highly concerned but "haven't hit the panic button yet."
Thanks for praying with us...
Early this morning, I was all prepped and ready for my biopsy when the doctor came in and said he saw nothing he could really see being worth biopsying! He said the cysts and the nodule that he saw in my thyroid are all benign and there was no need to do the biopsy...YAY! I will follow up with another doctor to address the enlarged thyroid, but nothing SCARY for now! Praise the Lord!
In the meantime, no one has been able to get in touch with Miss L today. We continue to pray that she is safe, healthy, and taking care of herself and the baby. While we feel confident that our social workers are doing everything they can to make contact and take care of her, our emotions are starting to take over (well, at least mine are!). In the words of one of the social workers this morning...I think we are all highly concerned but "haven't hit the panic button yet."
Thanks for praying with us...
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Great Plans
Friends,
This week has been a struggle. You see, I had it all planned out. Baby Girl would make her arrival on Tuesday, March 10th. Friday, March 13th at the latest. Surely she would be born before Spring Break. That was the week we had as built in time off work (not to mentioned PAID time off). Well, obviously that didn't work out as planned. Moving on to Plan B. Miss L would go to her doctor's appointment on Friday, March 20th and schedule an induction for Monday, March 23rd. That plan may be playing out, but at the moment no one can get ahold of Miss L. It seems like maybe her phone has been shut off, leaving her without access to make phone calls or send emails. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
And, to throw a wrench in all of my plans, I have faced a bit of scary medical news this week. On Monday of this week (the 16th), I went in for an ultrasound on my thyroid. I have been experiencing some weird pain in my throat for several weeks and the doctor thought it might be my thyroid. After my bloodwork came back normal, I figured the ultrasound was just a cautionary measure that would also come back normal. Instead, the doctor saw several large and questionable cysts on my thyroid. I am scheduled to go in for a biopsy this coming Monday (the 23rd) to see if the cysts are cancerous or benign.
So, as perfect as my baby plans had been in my head, they wouldn't have allowed for any of this thyroid mumbo jumbo to even be discovered. It may be nothing or it may be something scary.
Needless to say, my emotions have been all over the place this week. I have been anxiously awaiting news on Baby Girl, trying to make lasting memories with my boys before their sister arrives, and wondering if I might possibly have something a little bit scarier than spiky bouncy balls in my throat. I have really had to rest in the truth that God's plan is WAY better for us than my plan. His plans are GREAT plans. Plans to prosper us and give us a HOPE and a FUTURE.
Thanks for continuing to pray for our journey! We will keep you updated as we have news.
Cara
This week has been a struggle. You see, I had it all planned out. Baby Girl would make her arrival on Tuesday, March 10th. Friday, March 13th at the latest. Surely she would be born before Spring Break. That was the week we had as built in time off work (not to mentioned PAID time off). Well, obviously that didn't work out as planned. Moving on to Plan B. Miss L would go to her doctor's appointment on Friday, March 20th and schedule an induction for Monday, March 23rd. That plan may be playing out, but at the moment no one can get ahold of Miss L. It seems like maybe her phone has been shut off, leaving her without access to make phone calls or send emails. AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
And, to throw a wrench in all of my plans, I have faced a bit of scary medical news this week. On Monday of this week (the 16th), I went in for an ultrasound on my thyroid. I have been experiencing some weird pain in my throat for several weeks and the doctor thought it might be my thyroid. After my bloodwork came back normal, I figured the ultrasound was just a cautionary measure that would also come back normal. Instead, the doctor saw several large and questionable cysts on my thyroid. I am scheduled to go in for a biopsy this coming Monday (the 23rd) to see if the cysts are cancerous or benign.
So, as perfect as my baby plans had been in my head, they wouldn't have allowed for any of this thyroid mumbo jumbo to even be discovered. It may be nothing or it may be something scary.
Needless to say, my emotions have been all over the place this week. I have been anxiously awaiting news on Baby Girl, trying to make lasting memories with my boys before their sister arrives, and wondering if I might possibly have something a little bit scarier than spiky bouncy balls in my throat. I have really had to rest in the truth that God's plan is WAY better for us than my plan. His plans are GREAT plans. Plans to prosper us and give us a HOPE and a FUTURE.
Thanks for continuing to pray for our journey! We will keep you updated as we have news.
Cara
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Still waiting...
Have you been anxiously awaiting a post with the big news that Baby Girl is on her way?! US TOO! Waiting patiently is getting harder and harder! I have kept it pretty quiet in blog land because, honestly, there hasn't been too much to update you all on. I have been reminded over and over that God's plan is way better than my plan (no matter how perfect I think I have planned it all out)!
Miss L (Baby Girl's tummy mommy) reached 38 weeks in her pregnancy yesterday...we never thought she would make it that far! We learned a couple weeks ago that she is supposed to see the doctor 3 times a week. We think that might be due to her high blood pressure and some other factors that put her a high-risk pregnancy. She had also told us that her other kids had all been born 2-3 weeks early. And then, factor in that Kirby and I are both on Spring Break with a built in week off of work, and we were just sure we would be in Cincinnati this week! But, we're not. And we are trying to embrace the time here with our boys and our last days as a family of four.
Will you pray for us while we wait? Here are some specific prayer requests:
-pray for patience and peace for Kirby and I while we wait
-pray for Miss L as she goes through these last couple of EXHAUSTING and emotional days of pregnancy
-pray for Baby Girl's health
Thanks friends! And stay tuned...hopefully we have good news soon!
Miss L (Baby Girl's tummy mommy) reached 38 weeks in her pregnancy yesterday...we never thought she would make it that far! We learned a couple weeks ago that she is supposed to see the doctor 3 times a week. We think that might be due to her high blood pressure and some other factors that put her a high-risk pregnancy. She had also told us that her other kids had all been born 2-3 weeks early. And then, factor in that Kirby and I are both on Spring Break with a built in week off of work, and we were just sure we would be in Cincinnati this week! But, we're not. And we are trying to embrace the time here with our boys and our last days as a family of four.
Will you pray for us while we wait? Here are some specific prayer requests:
-pray for patience and peace for Kirby and I while we wait
-pray for Miss L as she goes through these last couple of EXHAUSTING and emotional days of pregnancy
-pray for Baby Girl's health
Thanks friends! And stay tuned...hopefully we have good news soon!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
50 Things We Have Learned About Adoption
So, we are still really early in our journey and this long road of adoption, but in honor of being 50 days from Baby Girl's due date, here are 50 things we have learned about adoption so far:
1. There is no way you can do it on your own.
2. The homestudy is not as scary as you think it will be!
3. It's crazy expensive.
4. The timing is definitely not yours.
5. You have to believe in the bigger picture.
6. It is easy to become disillusioned.
7. Even though your friends and family WANT to get it, most of them don't (and can't) really get it.
8. Start your grant paperwork EARLY!
9. Paperwork takes over your life.
10. No one cares more than you, be an advocate for yourself, your family, and your future child.
11. You have a chance to share a beautiful journey with a lot of people.
12. Your heart will break more than you thought possible.
13. You will cry when you least expect it.
14. Be prepared for not knowing things you feel like you are entitled to know.
15. In EVERY step of the way, trust that God knows the details.
16. It isn't easy explaining adoption to a 4 year old.
17. In a lot of ways, your 4 year old might understand adoption better than your adult friends and family!
18. Don't EVER abbreviate birthmom to BM :)
19. Apparently, the correct terminology for birthmom is actually expectant mom.
20. It takes a village...lean on your community!
21. The wait time from being matched to meeting your baby is HARD!
22. The hardest part (for us) was deciding what kinds of situations we would open ourselves up for.
23. Let people be excited for you!
24. Don't be discouraged when they aren't excited for you.
25. Be willing to be an open book...you will get LOTS of questions. (just to clarify...we LOVE this part of it!)
26. Pray lots and lots and lots!
27. While you are entitled by law to a maternity leave, it will most likely be unpaid. Be prepared.
28. Facebook adoption groups are a wealth of good information.
29. Fundraising is a touchy subject.
30. It is tough knowing how much of your baby's story to share with others.
31. Your greatest joy is someone else's greatest sorrow. This will be harder than you think.
32. Lots of opportunities will be presented in which the baby (or child) has birth-siblings.
33. You will learn more about drug and substance abuse than you ever wanted to know.
34. People's generosity will blow you away!
35. You will become best friends with the refresh button as you anxiously await new email updates!
36. Nesting will be an extremely strange experience.
37. Your heart will skip a beat every time you see the phone number to your agency show up on caller id.
38. Hearing other people's adoption journeys will be a much needed inspiration.
39. Baby showers feel a bit awkward, but are very much appreciated!
40. Your heart will be burdened in a way you never imagined.
41. Your marriage will reach a whole new level.
42. You will realize that you are definitely not the hero, but you will be excited to be a part of the rescue.
43. Your pennies will be pinched TIGHTLY in an effort to save everything you can to put towards your adoption.
44. There will be many times you wish you could claim "pregnancy brain."
45. People's fears and confusions about adoption show up in lots of different ways.
46. The line between being available and being overbearing is hard to figure out as you develop your relationship with your baby's tummy mommy.
47. People are important...find the ones who support your journey and let them in!
48. Be excited and available to walk through other people's journey with them...adoption is great!
49. The journey is exciting, terrifying, and every emotion in between.
50. We really have no idea what we are doing!
**We are actually only 43 days away from Baby Girl's due date, but this post took me a lot longer to process and write than I thought it would!
Thanks for praying for our journey!
4. The timing is definitely not yours.
5. You have to believe in the bigger picture.
6. It is easy to become disillusioned.
7. Even though your friends and family WANT to get it, most of them don't (and can't) really get it.
8. Start your grant paperwork EARLY!
9. Paperwork takes over your life.
10. No one cares more than you, be an advocate for yourself, your family, and your future child.
11. You have a chance to share a beautiful journey with a lot of people.
12. Your heart will break more than you thought possible.
13. You will cry when you least expect it.
14. Be prepared for not knowing things you feel like you are entitled to know.
15. In EVERY step of the way, trust that God knows the details.
16. It isn't easy explaining adoption to a 4 year old.
17. In a lot of ways, your 4 year old might understand adoption better than your adult friends and family!
18. Don't EVER abbreviate birthmom to BM :)
19. Apparently, the correct terminology for birthmom is actually expectant mom.
20. It takes a village...lean on your community!
21. The wait time from being matched to meeting your baby is HARD!
22. The hardest part (for us) was deciding what kinds of situations we would open ourselves up for.
23. Let people be excited for you!
24. Don't be discouraged when they aren't excited for you.
25. Be willing to be an open book...you will get LOTS of questions. (just to clarify...we LOVE this part of it!)
26. Pray lots and lots and lots!
27. While you are entitled by law to a maternity leave, it will most likely be unpaid. Be prepared.
28. Facebook adoption groups are a wealth of good information.
29. Fundraising is a touchy subject.
30. It is tough knowing how much of your baby's story to share with others.
31. Your greatest joy is someone else's greatest sorrow. This will be harder than you think.
32. Lots of opportunities will be presented in which the baby (or child) has birth-siblings.
33. You will learn more about drug and substance abuse than you ever wanted to know.
34. People's generosity will blow you away!
35. You will become best friends with the refresh button as you anxiously await new email updates!
36. Nesting will be an extremely strange experience.
37. Your heart will skip a beat every time you see the phone number to your agency show up on caller id.
38. Hearing other people's adoption journeys will be a much needed inspiration.
39. Baby showers feel a bit awkward, but are very much appreciated!
40. Your heart will be burdened in a way you never imagined.
41. Your marriage will reach a whole new level.
42. You will realize that you are definitely not the hero, but you will be excited to be a part of the rescue.
43. Your pennies will be pinched TIGHTLY in an effort to save everything you can to put towards your adoption.
44. There will be many times you wish you could claim "pregnancy brain."
45. People's fears and confusions about adoption show up in lots of different ways.
46. The line between being available and being overbearing is hard to figure out as you develop your relationship with your baby's tummy mommy.
47. People are important...find the ones who support your journey and let them in!
48. Be excited and available to walk through other people's journey with them...adoption is great!
49. The journey is exciting, terrifying, and every emotion in between.
50. We really have no idea what we are doing!
**We are actually only 43 days away from Baby Girl's due date, but this post took me a lot longer to process and write than I thought it would!
Thanks for praying for our journey!
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